By Dr Isaac Ayodele
One of the distinguished members on our platforms asked a question yesterday on yesterday’s nuggets which was on forgiving the unforgivable based on our exclusive evening with me.
“Psychologically do you think it is possible for someone to wish his/her enemy well?’’ He asked.
As I said on Sunday at the zoom event, I was a victim of negative thoughts which stemmed from the murder of my father as a soldier in the Nigerian Army. It is really not a big deal for a soldier to die in the warfront, but the manner in which my father was murdered was gruesome barbaric and emotionally injurious.
I still remember with nostalgia pains running through my marrows as his colleagues and friends from my community after years of hesitation offered to give the description of Daddy’s assassination by the mad blood sucking scorpion, who led them at Ogoja.
More so the family was thrown into emotional disarray. My grandmother was going from pillar to post in search of him through native doctors and blind seers who pretended to see my dad still alive. They milked the family of their hard earned money in their poverty stricken state
I still remember how my mum struggled to sponsor me to school. I remember how my maternal grandma struggled to keep me alive.
And I remember my torn knicker in the elementary school which exposed my pants, with tears I remember how I had to eat from the student’s bin of the University of Jos while I was in the secondary school in Jos.
I still have the picture in my mind how my mum busted into tears when I gained admission to Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria.
Negative things that I remembered had no end as the only child of my father on earth. I cannot really picture him as a little boy, I was only told of how loving and compassionate he was. I used to have one of his pictures, but lost it. I did not inherit a pin from him.
To cut the long story short, I was encumbered with mountains of negative thoughts of how I would revenge and how I could set up a troop for gorilla warriors to dislocate the soul of Nigeria taking off from Ogbomoso to the barracks.
It would have been a big battle, probably worse than Boko Haram of which I was ready to lose my life in the foray of anger, bitterness, revenge and in a state of depression and many contemplation of suicide that engulfed my soul.
I thank God that I changed the game, I forgave the unforgivable when I summoned the courage to give my dad a mock burial in my community after 50 years of passage..
I set up an NGO known as DIAFA for skill acquisition and empowerment. I gave from the little I had to the people. I also began a disease reversal movement to support those who thought they will never be well.
I had to erase negative thoughts and install positive thoughts to take me away from the negative past to a positive present so that I can have a better today and an iconic future devoid of all the negatives.
You have to erase negative thoughts and wish your enemy well to move on with your life. Otherwise, you will be static. You will live in the past and bring the negative past to the present. That will affect your future because whatever you think of and focus on with deep emotion, you will become.
Don’t let your past drag you from fulfilling your dreams and sabotage your goals and desires to live a good life. Kick off the negative thoughts now my dearest.
Remain amazing please. I love and cherish you.
Dr Isaac Ayodele is a Public Health Specialist.
He writes from Ado-Ekiti, Ekiti State.